Resolve
by 157yrs
Summary: An alcoholic hallucination forces Raven to acknowledge his growing relationship with Reese and come to terms with how important she is to him. *old post*


DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ZOIDS

Resolve

Raven looked up from the Geno Breaker's cockpit at the fireworks lighting the sky. In all honesty, he was a bit surprised that they would show up this far out in the desert.

The thought of a new year brought an onslaught of overwhelming emotions. The dark haired pilot tipped his bottle and took a noisy gulp of his alcohol. He detested the thought of losing control, but for once he didn't care; he wanted to get wasted. The war was finally over and he was a free man with no one to answer to.

The sound of broken glass turned his attention from the spectacle in the sky to his forsaken home a few meters way. Specula and Shadow were fighting again. One of them had broken a window. Reese would say that they were 'playing', but Raven failed to see how such raw anger and viciousness could be associated with playing. Those Organoids were out for each others' blood.

Raven took another swig, savoring the alcohol's burning affect as it slid down his throat.

If he got drunk enough he could really forget everything.

_Why hadn't Reese returned?_

He hadn't seen her in months. They didn't talk much - as both of their life styles were ones of preferred silence; but from what he had gathered Reese had taken a job as a mercenary. Her services went to the highest bidder. It was of no real consequence to him, a job was a job after all...

What did disturbed him however, was the fact that in this particular case she hadn't taken her blue Organoid with her, and Reese always took Specula when she left on assignment. They were a team, just like Shadow and himself. All the more alarming was that Reese hadn't come back yet. Usually she was gone a couple weeks, up to a month at a time. The money she brought back was well worth her absence, or so Raven had first thought. He wasn't ready to admit it to himself, but in his own peculiar way he was beginning to miss her. The nomadic life style he had chosen had come easily to him, but apparently not so for Reese. The ancient Zoidian thrived on relationships with others. It was what had ultimately led her to her alliance with Hiltz; but now the vile man was gone and all that Reese had was the clothes on her back, the Organoid that was her friend and the Zoid that she piloted.. and him.

Wasn't he enough? Why did she have to keep running?

A strange entourage of static gold lit up the sky and Raven turned back up to watch it.

When Reese had flippantly mentioned her new career move, Raven hadn't cared much about it. It wasn't his business after all. He knew the Zoidian had combat skills. She was a big girl and he knew that she could take care of herself. They had never gotten around to talking about where they stood with one another. It was always a 'come and go - I don't really care about you but I kind of do' sort of attitude. Now he wished that they had addressed the issue more thoroughly.

Reese was what?

_An ally._

He thought automatically. After all, they had fought together in the end.

_A friend._

He could agree to that, if somewhat uneasily. She had stood with him, after all.

If things continued... then what? What would she be then? Should he let them continue?

Raven tipped the bottle and emptied the last of the bitter drink into his mouth. The popping sound the fireworks made was starting to give him a headache.

Yes, things should continue. Since she had come along the loneliness and pain in his heart had slowly begun to fade. Of course, he had always had Shadow, but Reese was different. She was a human. A human girl that was very important to him, he decided. When she got back -

A bright explosion flashed in the sky and Raven was forced to shield his eyes.

If she ever got back. Damn it, where was she?

"Reese..." He mumbled irritably and his head began to swim.

"Yes." Came an automatic response.

At the sound of her voice, Raven whipped his head around, only to smack it into the base bar of the cockpit's entrance support.

"Ugh!" He grumbled in pain, deciding that it would be better to remain still seeing that the alcohol had severely limited his hand eye coordination.

Reese laughed and slid into the cockpit so that she sat on the side lip of the door. The force of her entrance caused their knee caps to hit. Raven glared angrily at her.

"What are you doing? The cockpit is too small for the both if us! Get out!" He stuttered, his cheeks flushing slightly from the alcohol's influence. Reese studied him intently for a minute.

"Are you drunk?" She finally asked. Raven scoffed. She always seemed to ask questions that she knew the answer too. Still, he wasn't going to admit that to her, no matter how obvious his drunkenness was.

"Of course not. Hey -" Reese spotted his empty bottle and swiped it from his hand. After studying the beverage container for a moment, she took a whiff of it and smiled. Raven remained silent. The alcohol was burning his throat and making it swell.

"I haven't seen this before. Have you been holding out on me?" She teased casually. Raven snorted and his throat protested. His eyes started to water.

"No," but his voice was drowned out by the fireworks. He watched them with a scowl. They didn't seem that beautiful anymore... not when there were now more beautiful things to look at.

"Hmmm." Reese contemplated and it took a moment for Raven to realize that he had spoken out loud. Startled by his own words, he shot a confused glance at his companion. Sensing his panic and embarrassment, Reese graciously ignored him and moved the bottle slowly over in her palms. She smelled like cool spice. Raven's nose started to run and he began to feel like a drunken fool. Reese pretended not to notice.

"Do you have anymore of this stuff?" She asked in interest. Raven tried to study her from the side of his eyes. She had cut her hair since he had seen her last. It had grown out to her chin but now she looked more like she did when they had first met.

"Where have you been?" He asked her softly. It sounded like a whine. The ancient Zoidian made brief eye contact with him before she went back to watching the bottle.

"Why? Did you miss me?" She countered in a quiet voice. Agitated by her response, Raven grabbed her wrist in an attempt to get her attention. He was being serious! His dimmed reflexes ended up missing her wrist entirely. Reese watched him expectantly as he slapped at the joint helm of the droid's dome.

"Is that yes?" She asked and then Raven knew that she wasn't going to tell him where she had gone. It irked him.

"You didn't take your Organoid with you." He jabbed, looking away. Reese brushed some invisible lint off of her shoulder.

"Specula doesn't need to follow me everywhere." She reasoned. Her casualness unnerved him. Raven stared at her hard. Reese evaded his stare, reaching under his seat with her hands.

"Ah, looks like you got another one." She said smugly, pulling her hand out to reveal an unopened bottle. Raven tried to grab it from her but his maneuverability was sluggish. Reese smiled in satisfaction and yanked the bottle open. Raven watch as she titled her head and started to down the burning liquid inside. The gulping noises she made turned his stomach and made him want to retch.

"You were gone for much longer than usual. Why?" He demanded. Reese pulled the bottle away from her mouth. Already a fourth of its contents were gone. Why had he wanted her back so badly? She was incredibly annoying.

"It took longer than usual. Why do you care?" Her constant word spars were really grating on his nerves. Couldn't she tell that he had been worried? Why was she always so difficult? Oblivious to his thoughts - but not his emotions, Reese took another few gulps from the bottle. Raven watched her throat bob as she swallowed. Casually, she leaned in.

Squirming, Raven tried to pull away from her, but the cockpit was small and cramped. Really, he had no where to go. His head hurt and now he was beginning to wish that she had come back in the morning instead of the evening where he had gotten drunk. He didn't like the thought of appearing weak or foolish in front of her.

He tried to pull his thoughts together but everything was blurry. He wished he had sobered up before trying to speak to her.

"You know what? Just forget it."

Reese stared at him blankly for a moment and it occurred to Raven that she probably had no idea why he was acting the way he was. He needed to tell her.

His body felt sluggish and heavy. Scowling, he turned his gaze back to the sky.

"This is our home now. If you plan to stay here, than you need to be here. I've been waiting for you for a very long time, you know."

_He thought he had said those words, anyway._

The next morning, Raven woke up early to the hang over of his life. From his cockpit, the dark haired pilot saw that Specula and Shadow were both asleep. The fireworks had left an eerie silence over the desert plain along with a chilling fog. Raven was only mildly surprised to find himself surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol.

There was no sign of Reese, and in disgust Raven realized that his intoxication had spurred on the illusion of his companion's presence. She still hadn't returned. Deep inside of him, the loneliness was beginning to take root again. A twinge of pain flared sharply in his chest as a vision of his mother and father flashed before his eyes.

_Family_

His parents' deaths had left him empty inside. The years spent with his Organoid had helped in his endeavor to fill in the gaping hole in his heart but it was only after meeting Reese that Raven understood what it was that he had finally needed. Shadow alone could no longer fill the void within him. Now that he had sampled the taste of her company, he wanted it desperately. Reese was in his life now and she was important to him. Dismissing his wondering thoughts, Raven made his way into the house. Finding a spare pack, the pilot stuffed it with some food and extra clothing. He was tired of waiting. If she wasn't going to come back to him, then he would just have to go to her.


End file.
